Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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