wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
