I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize