He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
