I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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