Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need a beard to bite.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
