I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
