Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
