doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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