i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
