Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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