Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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