this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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