Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
