The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
