her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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