he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
