Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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