Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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