Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
