Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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