Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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