all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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