coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
