God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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