Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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