One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
