You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
