i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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