Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
