:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think i got beer on your cat.
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