weddingsv make me drug and hornr
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
