I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Is Oprah even human
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
