Well apparently he's into motor boating.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
