Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize