but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
