i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
