Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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