wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
