____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
