I want to walk on stilts...naked
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
