im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just had sex bonerless
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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