I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go