Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I want to fling myself into the sun
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert