i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science