Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
