i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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