There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
