my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
