Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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