we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
