I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
