just come out here and I will go home with you...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
