Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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