I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
