i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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