no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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