If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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